Hamster in a cage

I don’t know why it’s so hard to motivate myself to be active when I know it makes me feel better, more confident, happy. Last week I ran 2 miles and attended a hard-ass kickboxing class. The reason? I met two friends to do the activities. Seems like I need a gym buddy. It would work out if I could convince a friend to join my gym and go with me. Sigh.

I think I’ve gotten my food on track (so far). But I won’t see the benefits for another few days since I just started back on WW on Saturday. Why does watching what you eat make me feel miserable? Not as much as overeating does, but I still feel miserable overall. Anyhow, that’s my first rant for the evening.

My other rant is that I hate my job. I don’t have a difficult job. I troubleshoot financial aid issues and see why a student’s aid isn’t disbursing. Not hard. The problem is I didn’t get a Master’s to be a glorified customer services representative. I am stuck in the same field I worked in as a student in college. Sadly financial aid is the only work experience I have. I am so unhappy I requested a leave of absence for a month to gather my thoughts, get some R&R, but I was denied. De.Nied.

I’m at a point that I can’t function after work. I’m so out of it. So unhappy with my professional life that I can’t enjoy my time at home. At work I get excited about going home and looking for jobs but once I leave the office all I want to do is go home and do nothing. I think exercising has been affected by my lack of motivation, which I think stems from my unhappy career life. Sigh. I am a hamster that can’t get step off the freaking wheel. Another rant over.

This entry was published on 18/02/2009 at 8:37 AM. It’s filed under Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

One thought on “Hamster in a cage

  1. Miranda on said:

    This last paragraph sounds like me… all. the. time. I feel you, sweetie. Especially the “I didn’t get a Master’s to do this” part.

    We’ll figure it out.

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