I’m training for the Nike Women’s Marathon. My training group meets every Thursday, at 6PM, 10 minutes (at most) from my house. If I go straight home from work and change I can make it to the track with time to spare. So why am I sitting on the couch in my jammies? Why am I not warming up with my group? I realize how important the track workouts are for increasing my speed but I can’t seem to convince myself of that today…or last week. I just don’t want run around under the hot Texas sun right after work. It would be nice to settle, relax a bit before going. Sigh. They are considering changing the workouts to 6 in the morning. Perhaps, hopefully, I will make it to those meetings instead. My fear is that I won’t because I need to sleep. More than likely my boyfriend Greg and I would have stayed up and I need convince myself to stay in bed because “I need the sleep”. Ugh.
Greg thinks that I am hard on myself. Well…yeah…I didn’t lose 30 pounds and complete my first marathon by being soft. This time around I find myself really struggling with food and maintaining a good pace on the treadmill. I don’t want to back-pedal and go back to the person I was a year and a half ago. I don’t want to see that person in the mirror ever again. I fear that by me not forcing myself to go to these set workouts I will slowly but surely inflate. I still have a long way to go before I reach my fitness goal so I can’t stop now. I need to regain my determination. Do something when I say I am going to do it (in regards to fitness). I never feel bad while I’m doing it. I feel energized and so damn proud of myself when it’s over so why all the foot dragging and/or gym-dodging?
Before the season started I was determined to do the track workouts, cross-train AND eat healthy. Well….it’s not happening. I’m still doing my runs but the cross training is not happening. Neither is the eating healthy. I’m so disappointed in not going to practice I stopped at Target and bought a small bag of M&Ms. On a positive note I didn’t buy the family-size bag I intended to get. I know better. Sitting here I am hoping my emotional eating will curb itself once I get focused. Actually getting focused isn’t the hard bit, it’s staying that way. I printed out the gym schedule and I have so many group class options yet I haven’t made it to one in the last month, when I told myself I would start going.